pain is the staff of life

MY blog stats are rising faster than irak casualties.

Posted in Blogroll, political rant by ruthanzo on June 30, 2007

Saturday, Jun 30 2007 

the surge is in effect.
i’ve had more hits in one month than the u.s. and coalition have taken in the last year (unsubstantiated.)
this is a good thing?

gen. naan, fort braggadacio

comments:

Ahmet Amman ( In Reno) writes:
Press on Surges.
The Surgin generals report that
allah’s swell.
Tikrit smell of success

Gen. Naan writes:
ATTENTION: FITTYCENTCOM
Expect unprecedented number of hits, need more bloggy bags.

Ho Chi ‘Coochie’ Minh writes:
Here we are
Out of Castanets
Pinin’ for the fascists
Darning fishing nets
Two types a typin
Hope they hit ’submit”
- cuz i’m runnin outa rime
HOKEY’s CAR MICHAEL

Spes writes:
I sent one based on a poplar song. it’s done disaparted.Look in da bin of Po’ Belle

ruthanzo writes:
i done looked in the po’belle and came up broken-handed.
if it was a poplar thong it must be in the chipper. makes nice horse bedding.
atwood’s?

.

Advertisements

SIR GEORGE MARTIN * Collage of Arms and Legs – granted 15 March 2004

Posted in Uncategorized by ruthanzo on June 27, 2007

Wednesday, Jun 27 2007

EXCLUSIVE TO HooFpESt.poof
Yo se WALT WITLESS despondent corpse for rogers/rutgers.. stop.. fastforward..HooFpESt:THIS is the latest NEWS? as long as it isn’t about SHEFFIELD, we’ll take it.

cia family jewels or heraldic code? what’s the diff.
edited by botfly

Arms: Azure on a FESS (excuse my french) nebuly ARGENT between THREE STAG BEETLES (oÙ est ringo?) Or five Barrulets Sable.(3 French Horns, hens? no!)
Crest: On a wreath Argent and Azure A HOUSE MARTIN proper holding under the SINISTER (west) WING a (tape) Recorder in bend SINISTER MOUTHPIECE (j.edgar vac) downwards OR. (WHAT?)
Motto: AMORE SOLUM OPUS EST. (likes to work alone)
Badge: A ZEBRA STATANT (sharp dresser, BrAIN Ep?) proper supporting with the DEXTER (shurely Gordon’s) FORLEG over the shoulder an Abbot’s Crozier Or (y no COST’ello?)
Among many other achievements, Sir(e) George Martin was producer of the Beatles. (Birdcertificates PLEASE) The shield, crest and badge (contents of his overnight bag) make various more or less EXPLICIT references** to the group as well as to music and the recording industry (#@$$#) in general.
**
if paul ws the walrus, is missing no.4 stag beetle disguised as a zebra with a cane? on his way to beat the sh-t out of sir george.(concordial now)
not shown
sated TERMITE beetle paul falling off X’s MILLED-on-the-Lathe SINister and SORE afTLeg.

c 4 youssef blind iman

COMMENTS ARE BEING ASSEMBLED..THANK YOU FOR YOUR PATIENTS
Dr. Frankenstein

Post Anna Baptiste ( Bateese?) Ramble

Posted in Blogroll, Uncategorized by ruthanzo on June 26, 2007

Tuesday, Jun 26 2007 

Mercy. Just like driving a streetcar 50 year ago my DREAMS are fulfilled. I’m The BLOG DRIVER. Everythinngs digital but ANNABLOG. Weather Horrid in HUFFINGTOWN . And CELERITY HOUSE moves like my lasses. Whod dis zz keat and naan ? Me want names of feathers . I wish I was LANNING ON DA LAMPOST. MOBY GRAPE navel drip. Aren’we clever with allah dis (Don’t do dat ) voibal dextrosty. It was either me or CLARENCE T. MASS (USSC) . Both well versed in coke tins. WHERE’S MY LINE. KITTY ( U GOTTA HAVE CARLISLE) HART. Why won’t you be on the wood panel ? Tom ain’t postin cuz TOM POSTON crossed
Over Jordan outside of Hamilton. Suzanne’s plush dower giver. JEEZ this is hard woik. She’s po’ but not even kind to me ? De Rack of LAMB is ready. I’m looking for JACK LONDON so’s we can do a wolf blitz.

Walt witless

COMMENTS:

zj writes:
Jun 26, 6:51 PM
gone roar sharking

Botfly writes:
Jun 26, 6:55 PM
as smooth a waltz as i’ve ever had with a lamé hearse.
you’ve done hoofpest proud.

Lord Twee Mure
Earl of Blackberry writes:
Jun 26, 10:07 PM
How dare this parvenu charlatan opine in such an egregious manner. Dare we say that his pecksniffian perorations fallo short of the mark. The Kenyon reviewers have made to many concessions. This stuff is better suited to Murdoch and Fox news. As for the putative opiner above, I believe hymn to be a fifth (Glencampbell) calumnist associated with LOX news. Lowell come back….

Onan the librarian writes:
Jun 27, 8:57 PM
As we read the WIKIPEDIA
60 bits
50 facts
40 bytes
30 tracts
you get da pc ture
picture of da rinse grey

WHALE IN WATER, MIND IN GUTTER (flotation devices recommended)

Posted in Uncategorized by ruthanzo on June 25, 2007

Monday, Jun 25 2007 

MOBY DICK, dir. John Huston 1956. Now there’s a movie. I suppose Melville’s damp navel has been picked clean but if one looks a little lower down on the body I think that’s where we would find Herman’s inspiration coming from and I am sure that I’m not the only one to conclude that the ‘WHITE WHALE’ is a euphemism for his MOBY DICK. From the dire warnings of Orson Whales from the church pulpit to the crew of the pagan-named PEQUOD, to the horrific ending with the drowned Capt. Ahab tangled in his harpoonery and tied for eternity to the heaving and bloodied leviathan, while it sounds and surfaces, still urging on his shipmates with stiffened arm to finish the job, as it were, this movie was clearly about the dangers of unbridled homoerotic sex and eternal CONDOMNATION. It certainly was outrageous for 1956. The message: get yourselves married lads. The lone survivor Ishmael clinging to the tattooed Queequeg’s made to order coffin, the only thing left floating in the sea, and then being rescued by the RACHEL, a whaler named after a faithful biblical wife, well, what can I say? As children we asked naively ‘did Moby Dick die?’ Hello!

Naan Guttersnipe

Comments
There were many.

The Vinyl Solution, Adios mi Amigos. (advisory: klingons) + SIDE ORDURES

Posted in Uncategorized by ruthanzo on June 23, 2007

Saturday, Jun 23 2007
12:44 am
Mark Kirk a Republican CONGRESSMAN in the U.S. has suggested that the use of CONDOMS by MEXICAN men would improve the ECONOMY of Mexico. You know, LESS kids, LESS stress on Mexico’s environment and yes.. LESS illegal immigrants pouring into the U.S. BUT what about OUR ECONOMIES? Is he OUT OF HIS MIND? We NEED MORE OF these guys. What are WE going to EAT if they don’t come to PLANT AND HARVEST OUR FOOD? We’d HAVE TO DO IT OURSELVES and then there’d be NO TIME TO MANAGE OUR BLOGS. Capt. Kirk is in bed with the klingons.

Naan Sequitur

SIDE ORDURES (bon appetit)
Saturday, Jun 24 2007
7:49 pm
THE COMMENTS, CONDOMENTS (por favor zz, catHorlicks are eatin dis) on STRAIGHTENING out (oops) the Mexican ECONDOMY (small board, too bad), COME (oy) HIGHLY (ah) RECOMMENDED (by darling needles.) CAMPBOUL! keep your zapatas zahn paula! u no manolo blahnik or jack kennedy! Viva Zapata! televizione 2nite at 8. Marlin my big beautiful fat-ass fish is on it.

Naan N’titty

Hillary Clinton’s team chooses céline dion ditty as campaign song. (advisory: lifejackets recommended)

Posted in Uncategorized by ruthanzo on June 21, 2007

June 21 2007

I’m not sure this was a WISE DECISION on the part of HILLARY’S handlers, choosing a campaign song from the CÉLINE DION catalogue given that it was largely her vocalizing that SANK the TITANIC. One can’t deny that CÉLINE’S music PROVIDES GREAT COMFORT when you’re already on your way to a WATERY GRAVE. Her voice has a SIREN quality to it. But it also means we’ll be hearing THE DAMN THING for the next year and once the WOBBLING sets in people will head for the LIFEBOATS and then it will be TOO LATE to right the GOOD SHIP HILLARY. I predict that HILLARY and her MISGUIDED team will be lying at the BOTTOM OF THE SEA at the conclusion of the DEMOCRATIC CONVENTION after COLLIDING with a BLOOMBERG in a THICK FOG off Long Island. BILL CLINTON should sound a WARNING right now on that SAX of his. Sometimes I think the Democratic Party has been INFILTRATED by the ENEMY who push for DAMAGING decisions, like the choice of this song. I think a MUCH BETTER SONG for her would have been JUNIOR WALKER’S “I’M A ROADRUNNER.” I’m sorry I wasn’t consulted. BILL could have played along on the sax SOLO. She’d win HANDS DOWN, even with her UNPOPULAR stance on IRAK. Really great music can sometimes make people do things they wouldn’t dream of doing. Like SLEEPING with a stranger or VOTING for HILLARY. Or vice versa.

BON VOYAGE.

Naan The Sibyl*
*Thinks CHUCK HAGEL’s going to take it all, if and when he dives into these roiling waters from his landlocked NEBRASKA. MARLON BRANDO was from there, so were JOHNNY CARSON, MALCOM X, RED CLOUD and of course that old moneybags WARREN BUFFETT.

COMMENTS:

Jun 21, 11:03 AM
Queenshiv writes:
*ROTFLMFIAO*

Jun 21, 11:08 AM
lily writes:
you know, that song was actually the song that relaunched the flagging air canada fleet. the money spent on having celine and that song in their ads might have been better used to pay for plane maintenance or better airline food. lets hope hillary knows that this song isn’t going to cover up her bad policy choices and all….

Jun 21, 11:12 AM
fidocastrato
the cerberus people who bought and now run (into the ground) air canada and now daimler chrysler must have a tie-in with david foster and celine or own the publishing to that horror. quelle bêtise.

Jun 21, 11:22 AM
tante jane writes:
Maureen Dowd had this to say in June 20/07 NY Times column:
…Unfortunately, the winner, “You and I,” is definitely not for you and me. It doesn’t bode well for the cultural health of the country that Hillary picked a song by Celine Dion, who combines the worst of Vegas and Canada…
OUCH!

Jun 21, 3:40 PM
Oh Come Angelil Band writes:
I was voted down on LA POUPEÉ QUI FAIT NON. Nobody lissens!! Republicans are quuietly pushing for BILL CHEATHAM. Now this Dionne gal might get one of the surviving quints to do a duet with her. Hilary Duff? Mike Duffy & Rita McNeill. There’s a big Pond kinda like the big republican tent. How bout A CAMPAIGN WITH NO DIRECTION by AMERICA. Tiny Tim come back Puhlease!

Jun 22, 8:53 PM
kate’s myth writes:
Hillary has chosen the Céline Solution – just trying to stay afloat….

Jun 22, 8:55 PM
kate’s myth writes:
The Céline Solution – a good way to stay afloat in a Sea that’s anything but Dead!

Jun 22, 11:05 PM
Old Salt -Sody M. Clawride writes:
Hilary will be in charge of the navy. The seamen like Celine. Hilary will like the seamen. I’m pulling for Pat C. Gal Aunt. BOBBY GIMBY please contact Messers (Don?) Hurok or Guesser (Jean). My My aren’t we a verbally dextrous lot.

Jun 22, 11:05 PM
the dorki m’lorki, direct descendants of dorkus m’lorkus write:
the vinyl Céline solution.
oy. 


Rufus Wainwright and his wonderfully wilde and wacky travelling show. (safe for the lactose intolerant) Saturday, Jun 16 2007

Posted in Blogroll, Uncategorized by ruthanzo on June 15, 2007

June 15 2007

Rufus played the Salle Maisonneuve in Montreal on Thursday night and I think it might have been the best live show I’ve ever seen though I admit a certain bias given the warp and woof of our shared genetic material. He does all his own band arrangements and their musicality and modernity was astounding. It’s an all male show, beautiful sounding horns and duelling electric guitars, Rufus’ voice was in the best of shape and his piano playing was deft, romantic. There lots of testosterone coming from the bass and drums and other good stuff that guys can do like singing really high and really low. No curdled girl back-ups…Prince has cornered that particular cheese market.

Later, driving up the Main, we caught sight of a bride in the back of a cab. Big stiff white veil on head. She was with two friends. We wondered where they might be headed for at 1 a.m..Maybe Toronto? When we pulled up beside them the bride was holding a sign out the window that advertised “I suck for a buck.” Seemed cheap. Those are outsourcing rates. More evidence that Montreal is turning into a third world city. It was all very funny. A huge contrast with Toronto where last week people stood in line for the chance to idolize a big blue crystal that cost over a 130 million loonies.

Rufus asks, ‘Do I Disappoint you?’ Great song. To answer your question, papillonant though you might be, “Never.”

Naan St-Agur

COMMENTS:

lily Says:
June 16th, 2007 at 7:02 pm edit
never a truer word was ever said. show was amazing. girl backups are still ok though…. haha.

zj Says:
June 16th, 2007 at 8:14 pm edit
ditto darlings

ruthanzo Says:
June 16th, 2007 at 9:13 pm edit
girls suck!

Wan Raw Dry Guys Says:
June 17th, 2007 at 10:44 am
While I agree with the tenor alto and bass of the original writer, I detect an air of consanguinity mixed with liberal media bias. I think R should record his version ( fair & balanced) of Foxy Lady™ and give it to Senor O’Really. Having sais that, the` show was superlative. I hope that the next tour will see the brass replaced by bongos.

A Song Update Says:
June 17th, 2007 at 4:33 pm
Don’t stand in the doorway
Don’t Blog Up the Hall

BBC Online Item on Nigella Lawson’s Choice of Mate (contains sulphuric acid)

Posted in Uncategorized by ruthanzo on June 13, 2007

Wednesday, Jun 13 2007 

Today’s BBC online news features an article on how women who’ve had good relationships with their dads will likely choose a mate who resembles the old man. To illustrate their point they’ve used as an example Nigella Lawson Channel 4’s juicy superstar cook. According to the writer, her new mate, Charles Saatchi, is supposed to resemble her father Nigel Lawson. Pics are provided. I’m sorry. I just don’t see the resemblance. But Chantal Hebert, the androgenous Canadian political pundit, now there’s a deadringer for Nigel Lawson. I think Charles showed Nigella his etchings and in return he got to sample her flank. SEE FOR YOURSELF

Naan H2So4

Montreal Attractions: The Look-out or Le Lock-out at the Cemetery (contains bones of contention)

Posted in Uncategorized by ruthanzo on June 12, 2007

ORIGINAL POST JUNE 12 2007

Has anyone been up on Mount Royal lately? The grounds keepers and/or grave diggers at Notre-Dame-des-Neiges Cemetery have been on strike (lock-out now) for more than a month and they are on a rotating shift outside the locked gates sprawled in deck chairs under little white tents sipping stuff out of opaque cups. Tim’s or Wild Turkey? Sustenance for the poor workers, indeed. The backhoes are silent. I was tempted to stop by and lend them support because it all looked so fun with the fluttering standards of fluorescent spray-painted syndicate slogans anchored to the venerable old wrought-iron fence. Then I remembered that my mother’s grandparents when they bought their double plot in 1908 had opted for the “perpetual care” package and I got ticked off. The place is so overgrown and forlorn i’m reminded of Gray’s Elegy in a Country Churchyard, minus the parts about the cows and Cromwell. The bodies, of Grey’s Anatomy.

I didn’t realize that Notre-Dame-des-Neiges had opted for amalgamation back when. One city, one graveyard*. Who voted for that? Dead Souls a la Gogol?
Maybe it was the burrowers.

Naan le Neant

* Thank you to Campbell Hendery,
author of “One city, one snowplow.”
His comment on the forced
amalgamation of Montreal.

COMMENTS:

Ex Cemetary Worker writes:
On OUR side of the fence the grass is short enough to putt.
For The record
I shall be spending eternity in the family plot on Lilac Knoll.
When I worked At Mount Royal Cem in ‘70 it was 6 days a week @1.50 an hour.

lily writes:
actually i think it’s kind of nice all that tall grass amid the tombstones.

Storm und Drain writes:
I miss pino. Never cottoned to onip.
Satan oscillate my metallic sonatas

2z or not 2z writes:
It’s as though the executive branch grew another branch and….gee this
is a recurring theme in the news these days. Everybody’s doing the
Dick Croutine. Soon it’ll be Hallibut on Fridays . I don’t know the
legalities of suing the diocese but if they claim executive infallibility,
then ,as in Rome and Washington, the executive branch wins by
definition….. what a strange planet . Where’s Bizzarro Superman … or at least
Bizarro Lois Lane to shed light on this matter. Dick C and “Eggs” B
seem to have been counselling eachother

2z or not 2z writes:

So where does the buck actually stop ? Seems to me that ownership must
step in if management can’t manage…..and clearly they can’t . There
are many being left solace and comfort free when they need it the most.
Somebody is failing the flock and one cannot put this on some guy with
a shovel or a lawnmower.

2z or not 2z writes:
One thing is clear. The mourning process has been mercilessly
hearsejacked and there is profound emotional and existential distress being
suffered by people in a most vulnerable situation. Let the living “bury their dead”.

Author : One Time Law Student Comment:
My theory is that the Churchâ„¢ (One True, that is) will dodge behind
the fact thhat pots aren’t owned but are leased for 99 years. It’s
called an empheutetic lease. They will then put sheep to graze midst the
ketatinery la bas. The Sheep (hereafter referred to as the flock) will be
shorn & the wool will be spun & woven into the finest of
raiments for the WHOLLY FODDER. He , by the by, is now summering at Castel
Geldoffo, or, as he refers to it BERTESGARDEN.
When the finery is finished the sheep will either be turned into
PROFILE LACTICS or told to leave NDN CEMETERY. GET THE FLOCK OUT

Author : Grampa Hogg
Sadly my #@**@# Descendants have alienated their patrimony, oherwise I
would offer unlimated cooling space at The Guaranteed or The Purity.
Gotta go. I have a bridge (mixture ) game with Walt Lowney anon
G. W Hogg ( deceased)

Author : Ed “Whirling” Mirvish
Siva plates now available from Kumar McNeill my New Canadian pal from
way down East. Everything and everyone must go !