pain is the staff of life

SLOW NEWS DAY

Posted in Uncategorized by ruthanzo on July 7, 2007

Saturday, Jul 7 2007

We can only hope that someone, somewhere, does something really stupid today trumping what Spruce Top Parkinsons and his phalloons were up to last night in the Asylum Woods. They were purportedly engaged in a game of Trillia Pursuit when some old woman reported seeing someone in delirium fragrante.

The judge, a well-known whoretoculturalist, knew the Trillium blooming season ended in late May so that al-ibi didn’t hold water. Spruce Top and his friends were given cold showers and made to wear straight jackets, three button with kick pleat in navy polyester, not the usual goldbraided bolero-style they usually fight off the bears in.

I’m getting some feeling back in my toes which since the fireworks accident are now where my fingers used to be. As for the missing toes, the woodshop has given me the butt end of a two by four to stick in the end of my boot. I’m looking forward to kicking some ass around this place. It used to be run by Queen’s Park but our creapy Norman Bates look-alike Premier sold it to the Cerberus gang (the hounds of hell, well-named) who think toilet paper is an extravagance.

Gen Naan
Cornwall Asylum
aka The devil’s pit

26 Responses to “SLOW NEWS DAY”

spruce top parkinsons Says:
July 7th, 2007 at 1:16 pm
ii ggues nnow tthAT bobby dylan’s train of thought hhas lleft town nno onne’s iinteressted in the aantiques of an oldde soddomite livving iin the aarmpit, ccrotch wwould be aa bbeter word, of OontariariariO.
sspruce ttop p.
ddown and oout
in cornwalll and alexxandria

Lexzicon Luther Says:
July 7th, 2007 at 1:26 pm
Queen’s Pork indeed. Someone ought to tell those gomorrons to sod off. Egads Fap.

Norman Deposed Says:
July 7th, 2007 at 3:05 pm
Slow new day ? Not on yr. Nellie. 7/7/07. The lotto termianls are humming with New Canucks hoping to winh big on gold mountain. Nissan Hutt is doing a Noh play somewhere in eternity. Live Earth will drop the cambient temp. of the globe by tomorrow. Sprucey Boy, you sound like Lucretia Borge.. I manke no Grand Canyon Concessions or St. An Kenton Concessions. Yo ! Mo Kenyatta Please!!

spruce top parkinsons Says:
July 7th, 2007 at 4:38 pm
dearr nnorm depope,
tthanks forr update. nnothin much new hhere. wwe had aa ttreat today. ssoup kitcheen served uup ssome real nice sstrawberrrries tthat came ffrom loblaw’s ddumpstter. those wwestons aare ffine peopole.
sspruce ttop p.
cornwall aasylum

Lexzicon Luther Says:
July 7th, 2007 at 5:13 pm
THE big news is Madonna plays electric guitar….

Swirl Cameroon Says:
July 7th, 2007 at 5:46 pm
I think you mean Maradona ! Update ! Nekked Twerp Sick Koreans.
Danskins in the Street. An Old un’ by Pounie & the Valhallas. Fillum at Eleven!

Ben E. Dick – Standum con Mei Says:
July 7th, 2007 at 6:09 pm
Missa Latina Sancus es. Codus Davincicus meliorium es . Non Benedictus Dorkus Mallorcus.
Requiescat en Pacum Clydium Gillmorah

spruce top parkinsons Says:
July 7th, 2007 at 6:17 pm
dear dislexsicko-llu,
yyou mmight be innerrested tto knnow i pplay tthe cchainsaw iin the asylum enssemble. with great stihl i mmight add. we hhad a minor hhit witth ssomething called “don’t ccut and rrun.”
gooogle ‘vangogh in earack.’
sspruce top p.
ccornwall asylum

Yap Islander Says:
July 7th, 2007 at 6:19 pm
Clarissa Beverage Is a dead ringer for that Little swank gal Hilary Roadhog.

Hussy (Not Vlasa) Varna Says:
July 7th, 2007 at 6:38 pm
Be Stihl my Evelyn Hart. Ain’t no more Kane on the Dance floor. The Tennant were Late with the rent. When at Balmoral i dont grouse about the gillies. tree little maids from stihl are thee. Tra La La La La la. Lala wont do that woik .

Lexzicon Luther Says:
July 7th, 2007 at 7:21 pm
It must be very soothing to the others to hear you practice. The old saw is that the saw is the closest to the human voice and, of course, it is closely associated with deep sleep in all the cartoons. I can only surmise that the chain saw is even more so on both counts…well my voice at least.. Madonna also had a fiddler sawing away ~ perhaps she’d be better off with a real saw player like yourself y’know … give her a bit of a leg -off in the industry.
Keep it away from the spruce so as to keep your stature

St. Opress Says:
July 7th, 2007 at 8:58 pm
A little bird (feygele) tells us of red rodents and witch ( hazel?) transport devices involving ernie’s red shod papal brother and Santa’s entry port. Window dressing for the habitants?
APB -PDQ on The QT.-
Lopsided Elmo reporting. Back to you.

Hostie City Limits Says:
July 7th, 2007 at 9:04 pm
Tyred of the Al gore riddems. Ain’t gonna go to Tennis sea. I gots Al Goraphobia. Myron’s gallows way. Veni Vidi Vidal.
Siegfried und Sassoon. Tyger tyger aaaaaaaarrrrrgggghhh!

Whimee Poubelle Says:
July 7th, 2007 at 9:47 pm
somethins in da bin

Emile Zoloft Says:
July 8th, 2007 at 2:21 am
something is afoot,
some things are feet
I hear the dulcet tones of the chainsaw , beckoning me to Slumberland and Little Nemo is on the Dr. Pill Show.

ruthanzo Says:
July 8th, 2007 at 10:31 am
the asylum ensemble was having it’s usual sat night rehearsal when one of the flute players complained that struce top, whose chainsaw was going full throttle, was a whole tone away from the rest of them. between you and me, i think he’s lost his earrings. this contretemps resulted in spruce top venting his anger and the building by cutting a 20 by 30 foot opening in the south wall giving us an unbroken view of domtar’s old slagheap.
gen naan
cornwall asylum

Emile Zoloft Says:
July 8th, 2007 at 11:08 am
You must get a Canada Council Grant or at least one from the Department of Fishes Forests and Mining. I understand that this is an Impromtured ensemble but I know for a fact that there are recording studios thrown together that can and will record this stuff live on/off the floor of the asylum. The fact that it appears to be , as they say, “unplugged” is now considered a selling point . (I’d keep the “gas powered” under wraps for the time being what with all this Carbon Footprint buzz word stuff but neVer mINd the Buzzward Here’s the buZzSaw). Maybe even an endorsement from Domtar

ruthanzo Says:
July 8th, 2007 at 12:23 pm
i think the word is “unhinged” and do you think it could still be a selling point?
gen naan

Emile Zoloft Says:
July 8th, 2007 at 1:14 pm
Absolutely ! Empty V will come knocking on your door , contracts in hand, (door on the floor)

Place Ibo Says:
July 9th, 2007 at 6:25 pm
Mo please.
Mobutu Seise Seiko !
Seisie?
Seise!!!
Kwame H. Nkrumah!!
Oh Tabo Mbeki
Mbeki Tabo
Nyrere Wimoweh

ruthanzo Says:
July 9th, 2007 at 7:31 pm
mombassa
daddy sangtenor

Gay Lou Ron Says:
July 9th, 2007 at 8:48 pm
Timbre!

Speedy Gone Salsa Says:
July 9th, 2007 at 9:03 pm
I suspect the author is really NAAN O’SECOND – A timely and comely hibernian lass. Just a soup son mind you- but soup’s on naantheless.

John O’Groats Says:
July 9th, 2007 at 9:06 pm
What mealy mouthed twaddle . Oh How gruel!

zebra zpots Says:
July 10th, 2007 at 10:06 pm
zofar zogood
zip zip hurah
zis being ze correct blogue heading
zuss zpoke zorro and lady azter

J. Buckin (Lord Tweed Smore) Says:
July 10th, 2007 at 10:15 pm
Unlike the parvenus above, I firmly believe the author to be either Enid Blyton or one of The Mitfords.
I Remain your obediant Servant
Tweed Smore
Watlington upon Irons U.K.

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