pain is the staff of life

The choice of presidential candidate and the all-important entertainment quotient or is it content..

Posted in Uncategorized by ruthanzo on January 8, 2008

The American public is really naive if they think the elections are about voting for change. Change of what? There will be no substantive change after this election no matter which of the candidates gets elected. The government’s policies are pre-determined by its powerful lobbies, corporate and otherwise (predestined by C & K, pre-shrunk by CK.) Unless a Hugot Chagas or an Evil Morales presents himself things are going to stay pretty much as is. Guillermo Richardson does have Mexican blood coursing in his veins but he’s a slick seasoned diplomat and is unlikely to nationalize the corn industry besides I think he’s thrown in the trowel. There’s always Mike (Loose) Gravel but the U.S. media have branded him a crazy person as they did Forward Dean. Crazy’s good but the drug industry would want to medicate Mike. So at the very least the candidate the electorate chooses should have some entertainment value like France’s Sarko & Carla B. have in espadons and espadrilles.

John McCane (0%) with no chance of improvement unless he shows us what that thing is in his cheek (certainly not his tongue.) Mutt Romany (15%) with a possibility for a higher score because he is Mormon and can be peeled like an onion to reveal layers of kinky (gore vidalia) practices (bringem’ young to the caravanserai, the holey underwear & magic glasses, we used a Viewmaster to read the X commandments.) Kookcynic (15%) there could be more fun stories about his UFO sighting (a close encounter with his Trafalmadoran family?) the unionmade wife/babe (I confess that I also saw a UNION in the early 1960s and belonged to a UFO) Huckaberry H. (35%) is already very entertaining with his crooked teeth, his folksy wit and heartfelt songs (he learned to cry in the chapel + do standup in the pulpit, went to sundayschool of hard Knox.) John Edwords (25%) if you like the Dorian Gray type (Sweeney Todd’s his barber) but all that could change with young kids (possibility of cute highjinks at White House) and an unwell outspoken spouse though lately she’s been gagged. Tabac O’bama (the Marlboro Man) (25%) has the cute kids and the looker/outspoken wife but he’s black and white (maybe red all over?) and the U.S. still has a cotton industry (heavily sub(machine)sidized too.) Big Tobacco will like him though cause he smokes and can lose his voice on command. I see JFK written all over him and hope for his sake he’s not catholic (like His Honor Cokecan Thomas.) RumPaul of the Old Gold Standard (10%) is spouting prescient quotes from literature but nobody knows what he’s talking about (unlike Charlton Heston who blathered on about nothing to the delight of bible salesmen) and besides Ed Sullivan took the podium with him to Ferncliff Forever. Hillarity (45%) a brilliant woman with a broad beam (therefore a source of endless ridicule by puerile american journalists) and she holds the Wild Bill card. Though I think Chelsea will keep’im honest as that vanderbuilt greatgrandchild is fond of repeating at mausoleums in N’ollins.

Have I forgotten anybody? oh, the undeclared.*



4 Responses

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  1. […] Here’s another interesting post I read today by pain is the staff of life […]

  2. judigiuliani said, on January 8, 2008 at 7:45 pm

    you forgot my rudolph.

  3. zbignose said, on January 9, 2008 at 3:26 pm

    This is all getting confused with those other reality shoes. CNN ought to just cut to the chase and hire Simon and Paula and Randy from the other network’s version of American Idol. See if anybody can notice the difference.
    What a strange process they call democracy.

  4. zz dans la meteo said, on January 11, 2008 at 11:33 am

    Has anybody brought up the idea of mandatory testing of the race participants for performance enhancing medications? It just seems to be at least as important as the testing of athletes and other entertainers.

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