pain is the staff of life

Stockyard Days (Orwellian experience at Montreal’s Trudeau Airport)

Posted in Uncategorized by ruthanzo on September 2, 2008

Yesterday I had to fly from NYC’s Kennedy airport to Trudeau in Montreal. I was dreading the trip it being Labour Day and all but the experience turned out to have been partly a pleasure, at least the first part of it was. I arrived at the gleaming Delta terminal and the check-in took less than 3 mins. I ate a wrap and I don’t seem to have contracted listeriosis. I will admit I had a hard time finding something to read at the airport newstands (CNN owned.) Everyone is reading the same book (intentional?). I went out on a limb and bought Sen. Maj. Leader Harry’s Reid’s The Good Fight. I liked his speech at the Democratic Convention where he referred to GOP Candidate as ‘Ol Doc McCain’.’ He spoke early on the night the big guns were trotted out and nobody saw him. Reid grew up in a two-bit mining town famous for its whorehouses and his Pa committed suicide but he somehow made it to Capitol Hill. Hang in there Barry, Sarah. The Delta flight left on time and landed exactly when they said it would. Once inside Montreal’s Trudeau Airport we had to walk about 3 miles (thinks it’s Heathrow) before portaging down into the Great Hall of Sado-Masochism aka Canadian Immigration. It looked just like a Chicago stockyard. There were hundreds of people being threaded single-file like cattle through an endless cordoned off maze where after walking another 3 miles (no maize in sight) I emerged at the other end only to wait in another line for the ‘oral exam’. The shiny new immigration officer (chinese canadian?) quizzed me about my book. Where had I purchased it? huh? and finally said ‘welcome home’! what? I guess these kids are better at working the computers than the old grumpy ones that used to man the joint. I then went to collect my bags from the carousel. One of them, a red button accordion in a black box, had not made it through. I wondered, was it because it was red? I looked in the oversized baggage. All the skis and golf clubs and guns made it through but not my little red accordion. Now I had to go with all my stuff to the Delta baggage depot to fill out the missing bag form (it was still in NYC!) That done, Delta sent me on again, dragging all my stuff, to the customs office way way the hell down the hall so I could get my form stamped by what appear to be Canada’s newest practitioners of S & M. I noticed they were all quite buff and wearing black leather gloves..(Was a ‘gyno exam’ next? ‘Anal’? and bulletproof vests with big numbers on their chests. Were we supposed to shoot at them? I don’t own a gun but I must get one if I’m to be taken seriously. Is this Stockyard Day’s private army or do these buff kids belong to us, the taxpayers? They didn’t act like they were answerable to me. I’ve always thought that this ‘security’ thing was a canard (peking, duck!) and the plan is to inconvenience & piss people off so much that when the borders do come down as they will very soon we will all be so thankful to our little political gods we won’t know what’s hit us.

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