Big ShamWow and Little ShamWow
Wendy Mesley was sitting in last night for her ex on the CBC news. She stared into the camera and said very seriously: ‘Peter is away.’ ????? Was that the ‘headline?’ ..Okay. then tell us where he is please? Are W & P our mommy and daddy? If they are, then we have a right to know where he is.. (with the weather girl?manning peace bridge?) Then it was this dance: A month ago Fin. Min. Jim. Flaherty announced a surplus, (hey! we’re flush guys! no stimulus. you only get the stimulus if you have a big deficit (is that what’s wrong with us?.no black hole) He showed us our hand but nobody believed him. Zat why Gov. Gen. Jean suspended parliament? so’s he could shuffle the deck. well now he’s on board with the rest of the free?world saying ‘we’re in a recession’ and it’s time for some deficit spending after all..(creating a level playing field? for…) turns out our hands are tied..and the hair is dyed, only C&W singers should be allowed to do this. Does he know something we don’t know? Why was the TSE down today? Why do we put so much stock in the stock market?..data transmittal.. blah blah..first time ever in the l…oh, come on? the US was stearing the TSE’s big customers (ontario teachers fund) to their big boards. Step right up. Have some Fresh Fannie..its christmas. I think Canada is looking very vulnerable (planned?) some people don’t like our hear, hear-wigs.. and I think we’re about to be absorbed like so much oil and water by the big ShamWow but not before a defining moment of some kind, something other than a wonky skilift in Whistler..wait a sec? could ‘terrorists’ (Palin family? they’re close by and they’re armed to the teeth) be practicing for the 2010 Olympics..? that’ll put the fear of god in us. we’re not fearful enough.
The real reason Obama got in is because he’s intelligent and attractive and Canadians like that (look at Stephane Arepoor?) and will embrace him as their leader when the time comes for us to go (and he’s got a nice big deficit! though I think he’s temporary, there to ‘get the job done’.) The plan is to get us all drunk the night of Obama’s inauguration and steal our Arctic oil before the Putain lays claim to the whole shelf. What will Canada will be called? L’Hiver (and bacon), Little ShamWow, Toronto? Then the lead item on the news might be something more pressing than..Peter is away! Because Anderson Croupier (keepin them. honest..) & Campobella Brown (no bias? then why does your suit fit so well?) will be our mommy and daddy.